What's Stopping You

What’s Stopping You?

Success is 90% confidence – Will Carling

A little over a year ago, I attended a workshop which was designed around components of Neuro-Linguistic Progamming (NLP) and the role it could play in improving our thinking and our performance.

During that workshop, the facilitator asked me the question, ‘What’s the number one goal you could achieve right now?’

It was at that point that I was exploring how to transition from a corporate role into setting up my own business and so understandably, that dominated my thinking.

‘I’d like to ensure a successful transition between my current corporate role, and the business I want to establish,’ came my reply.

‘Ok,’ said the facilitator, ‘I can understand that. But it strikes me that you’re focusing in the wrong place. So let me ask you this question: If you already knew that you’d make a successful transition, how would that change the way you were thinking about it?’

I paused for a moment and reflected on the question, baffled by its seeming simplicity yet laser-like precision in jolting my thoughts and removing ‘noise’ from my mind.

‘Well, ‘ I continued, ‘firstly, I wouldn’t worry about it. I guess I’d feel more confident in what I was doing and finally, I’d approach it with a much more empowered mindset. Actually, I’d probably just go and get on with it!’

‘There you go then,’ said the facilitator. ‘It seems to me that you already have the right approach in terms of your thinking to ensure that the right behaviour follows. Get that right, and the results will take care of themselves.’

For me, that was a defining moment.

Being asked that question completely changed my perspective.

Now, reading this, you may or may not feel the power of the question. Maybe if you relate it to you or your own situation you will. But what’s important is in understanding that the correlation between behaviour and results is first pre-determined by the way in which we think.

In other words:

Thinking –> Behaviour –> Results

And so it’s the management of our thoughts which should be the starting point in order to achieve any goal.

Emma Gibbs-Ng owns Accentus Management, and is an accredited practitioner in Stress Management, Human Potential and Neuro-Linguistic Progamming (NLP).  She works with individuals from the worlds of business and sport and here, offers her thoughts on how we think, and what’s really stopping us achieving our goals.

Enter Emma

All to often we can be guilty of questioning our own abilities and doubting ourselves when it comes to trying something new or achieving our goals. We tirelessly look for answers or explanations as to why we haven’t achieved the goals that we’ve set ourselves. In fact, we can spend countless hours trying to figure out and understand what’s stopping us from reaching our full potential – often looking to external sources first – only to be left without substantive answers.

The missing link however is in understanding that the answer doesn’t sit externally. It doesn’t sit with someone else or something else.

Our feelings are all the result of the way in which we think. As such, where people find it hard to think (and therefore believe) anything good or positive can happen, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

There are instances for us all where we put too much pressure on ourselves, which results in us being our own worst enemy. We start to form limiting beliefs, only allowing ourselves to do the things we know we’ll be able to achieve. But before we know it our comfort zones have shrunk and become so small that we miss out on a lifetime of new and wonderful experiences.

Our confidence and self-belief are at the heart of all our successes and failures.

You and only you are responsible for your thoughts and therefore your overall levels of confidence and self esteem – no one else, just you.

Therefore, how we think and process information is key to our overall levels of confidence and self-esteem – and our behaviour.

We all have the resources within ourselves to make the changes we need to make in order to create the outcomes that we really want. And to illustrate the point, consider the below ‘Success Cycle’, starting with ‘beliefs’ and moving clockwise: 

Success Cycle

If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got – Henry Ford

Often, it’s fear of the unknown which holds us back. However, I like to point out that there is no such thing as fear. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. It isn’t real, we weren’t born with limitations and fears – they’re just the outcome of our experiences which are driven by our thoughts. In other words, we have created them.

So, we have a choice.

We can let fear and those limiting beliefs define us and rule our lives, or we can take back the ownership, choose to be responsible for our thoughts and go on to achieve the goals we set ourselves.

Changing our limiting beliefs – our thoughts – will open up a whole new world of opportunity and success. And by believing in yourself and your abilities you will start to achieve more than you ever imagined possible.

You can learn more about Accentus Management and what Emma does by visiting www.accentus-management.co.uk


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